There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
