Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
