tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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