i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
