Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
