Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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