Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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