sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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