Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
