yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
