just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
