Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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