ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize