but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
