Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no you cant smoke seaweed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
