I hate all girls vehemently.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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