sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
