This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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