well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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