once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She even gives head with a lisp.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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