Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
