meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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