Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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