Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
