so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
