I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
