Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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