In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
