i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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