I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize