I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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