I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
