I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
