Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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