the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
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just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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