You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
