come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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