I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize