Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
