i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage