I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Pants are for mortals
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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