Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Never underestimate the power of titties
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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