I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
