Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
