I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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