when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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