You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
