do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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