I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
