My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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