wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
