he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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