The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
