why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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