so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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