My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize