I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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