you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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