I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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