what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize