ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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