whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
